Yes, modern baby showers often include men; hosts follow the parents’ wishes and list guests clearly on the invitation.
For a long time, this party centered on women. That norm has loosened. Many families now prefer a shared celebration where friends, partners, and relatives cheer the new arrival together. The right answer depends on the parents, the host, and the invite list. Coed parties are common today.
Why The Tradition Shifted
American baby parties grew fast in the mid-20th century, and many were women-only. Over time, families wanted partners and friends to share the day. Modern etiquette points to preference: the host plans the format the parents want, and the invitation spells it out. The Emily Post Institute lists common questions on timing, hosting, and guest lists in a clear reference (top etiquette questions).
Common Formats At A Glance
Not every party looks the same. Pick a style that matches the parents’ goals, venue, and budget.
| Format | Typical Guest Mix | Best Fit |
|---|---|---|
| Traditional | Mostly women from family, work, and close circles | Small homes, tea-style menus, gift-opening centerpiece |
| Coed Party | Partners, friends of all genders, extended family | Backyards, event rooms, casual menus, games optional |
| Open-House | Drop-in guests across a wide range | Busy schedules, larger networks, short visits and mingling |
| Sprinkle | Close circle; gifts skew small or practical | Second or third child, laid-back gathering |
| Sip-And-See | Mixed group after the baby arrives | Parents who prefer a meet-the-baby event later |
Should Men Attend Baby Showers? Guest List Rules
Short answer: ask the parents and read the invite. Many parties include all close friends and relatives, including dads-to-be and their pals. When the invitation lists both parents as honorees, or states “all friends invited,” attendance is clear. When the invite centers on a single honoree with language like “ladies lunch,” expect a smaller group.
Ask The Honorees
The host sets the plan, but the honorees choose the tone. Check preferences early: shared party, separate events, or a hybrid. Some families host a single coed party. Others plan two gatherings—a relaxed cookout for a wide circle and a quieter tea a week later.
Read The Invitation Carefully
Clues sit in plain sight: honoree names, RSVP contact, and wording. If the card says “Friends and family of both parents are invited,” that signals a mixed group. If it lists only one honoree and mentions a venue with limited space, the guest list may be tight.
Check Venue And Vibe
A backyard picnic or brewery event suits a broad mix. A tiny living room points to a shorter guest list. Pick a plan that lets everyone chat without crowding.
How Hosts Can Make Everyone Comfortable
Mixed-guest parties work best when the plan keeps energy high and chores low. These tips keep the day smooth for the honorees and guests.
Invites And Wording
Clarity wins. Sample lines:
- “Join Alex and Jamie for a come-and-go baby party. Friends and family of all genders invited.”
- “Please celebrate Maria. A small afternoon tea with close friends.”
- “Cookout for the parents-to-be. Kids invited; casual dress.”
Skip confusing phrases. If space is limited, a gentle note helps: “Space is cozy, so adults only.” Keep registry notes off the card itself; etiquette advisors suggest sharing it on a separate slip or link.
Activities That Work For Mixed Groups
Keep games optional and short. Crowd-pleasers include a diaper-raffle bowl, a onesie decorating station, or an “advice for the parents” card table. A photo booth corner with a simple backdrop gives guests something fun to do between bites.
Food And Drinks
Finger foods keep cleanup light: sliders, veggie trays, fruit, and cupcakes. Drinks can include a signature mocktail, iced tea, and seltzer. If you serve alcohol, balance with hearty snacks and plenty of nonalcoholic picks.
Gift Logistics When Partners Attend
A mixed crowd changes the rhythm. Registries make gifting easy, but guests can still bring handmade items or keepsakes. Keep the gift table near the entrance with tags and pens so cards stay matched. If time is tight, the honorees may open a few presents during the party and save the rest for later, then send prompt thank-you notes.
What To Buy If You’re Not Sure
Pick from the registry, group-gift a high-ticket item with friends, or bring a practical bundle: diapers in two sizes, wipes, and baby laundry soap. Personalized books with a short message inside make sweet keepsakes.
Planning Tips For A Smooth Coed Party
Good planning beats guesswork. Use this timeline to keep the day on track.
| Time | Task | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 4–6 weeks out | Confirm guest list and venue | Ask the parents about tone, games, and food prefs |
| 3–4 weeks out | Send invites | Include RSVP method and registry link on a separate slip |
| 2 weeks out | Order food and cake | Plan a vegetarian and a gluten-free option |
| 1 week out | Buy décor and supplies | Tablecloths, tags, pens, game cards, prizes |
| 2 days out | Confirm counts | Touch base with the venue and helpers |
| Day of | Set up zones | Greeting table, food, games, gift station, photo spot |
| After | Send thank-you notes | Mail or message within two weeks |
Quick Scenarios And Clear Answers
The Invite Lists Only The Mom-To-Be
Ask the host. Many hosts still plan women-only teas, and that’s fine. If the parents want a broader gathering, the host can mention a second event or adjust numbers.
The Partner Wants To Stop By, Not Stay All Day
That works. Hosts can plan a short greeting at the start or a toast near the end. A set window keeps the flow tidy.
The Guest List Includes Work Friends
Stick to colleagues who actually spend time with the honoree. A separate office shower can take the pressure off a home event.
Space Is Tight
Try a staggered open-house with two RSVPs slots. Guests can pick a window, and the parents get to chat with everyone.
Etiquette Reminders For Guests
Show up on time, RSVP promptly, and follow the dress cue on the card. Keep the day about the parents. Parents magazine shares simple tips for guests—RSVPs, gifts, and card messages—that map neatly to modern parties (guest etiquette). These basics keep the day smooth and easy for hosts and guests.
- RSVP by the date on the invite. Hosts plan food and seating with that list.
- Bring a gift receipt inside the card when you can.
- Skip medical advice and tough topics. Keep chat light.
- Offer to carry gifts to the car when the party wraps.
Design Ideas That Welcome A Mixed Crowd
Décor sets the tone. Swap heavy themes for clean color stories: citrus, forest, or soft neutrals. A greeting sign, a few garlands, and fresh flowers go a long way. Music helps, too—aim for low-volume playlists.
Zones Keep Energy Flowing
Set a greeting table near the door with name tags and a short message from the parents. Keep food near the middle to draw people in. Put one quiet corner aside for baby advice cards, and place a simple game station outdoors if space allows.
Photos Without The Fuss
Pick one backdrop and a phone tripod. Ask a friend to grab quick shots during gift moments and group toasts. Share an album link with guests the next day.
Sample Invitation Wording
Use these lines as a starting point and tailor the tone to fit the honorees.
Casual Backyard Cookout
“Burgers, lawn games, and baby news. Join Taylor and Morgan on June 8 from 2–5 p.m. Kids invited.”
Brunch With Close Friends
“A table for friends of Casey. Saturday, 11 a.m., Café Willow. Space is cozy.”
Drop-In Open-House
“Stop by any time between 1–4 p.m. to greet Renee and Jordan. Short toast at 2 p.m.”
Regional Traditions And Small Tweaks
Customs vary by city and by family. Some regions lean toward coed cookouts. Others favor a tea or brunch with a tight guest list. Rural towns may host at a church hall; urban groups might meet at a café or a park shelter. None of these choices is “more correct.” The only rule that matters is clear communication and kind hosting.
If grandparents or extended relatives live far away, a group text thread or a private social album can loop them in. When travel makes attendance tough, a short video hello during the toast keeps the mood bright without turning the party into a screen session.
What Hosts Should Prep In Advance
A little prep saves headaches on the day.
- Two bins: one for gift wrap, one for trash and recycling.
- Sharpies and blank tags for gifts without cards.
- Coolers with ice near the deck or patio.
- A towel stash and wipes for quick spills.
- A quiet room where the honorees can take a breath.
Polite Phrases For Tricky Moments
Hosts sometimes need a few lines ready to keep the event smooth.
- To steer away from awkward topics: “Let’s save that for another day—tell me about your summer plans.”
- To keep gift-opening short: “We’ll open a few now and the rest later so everyone can mingle.”
- To handle extra guests: “We’re tight on chairs, but you can grab a plate and join the patio group.”
Final Take
Many families now choose shared parties that include dads, brothers, and friends across the board. The most helpful rule is simple: follow the parents’ wishes, say it plainly on the invitation, and plan a relaxed layout that fits the space. Do that, and everyone leaves smiling—and the parents start the next chapter with a strong circle of people who care.